David Whiting Live

Follow Up from Sunday - Idol Worship...

Here is a quote from "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan.  If you've been thinking about idol worship and how to "deal with it" in your life, I thought this may be helpful (with a few changes of wording to fit the sermon).

"If you merely pretend that you enjoy God or love Him, He knows. You can't fool Him; don't even try. Instead, tell Him how you feel. Tell Him that He isn't the most important thing in this life to you, and that you're sorry fro that. Tell Him that you've [been worshiping idols.  Tell Him what idol(s) you've been worshiping] over Him time and again. Tell Him that you want Him to change you, that you long to genuinely enjoy Him. Tell him how you want to experience true satisfaction and pleasure and joy in your relationship with Him. Tell Him you want to love Him more than anything on this earth. Tell Him you want to treasure the kingdom of heaven so much that you'd willingly sell everything in order to get it (Matthew 13:44). Tell Him what you like about Him, what you appreciate, and what brings you joy." 

Idols of the Heart

Some follow up from this Sunday's sermon:

An idol is when someone or something that occupies the place of God in your life. An idol is when anyone or anything is more important to you than God. An idol is a functional Savior that saves you from temporary, felt needs, not real, eternal needs.

Here are some self-examining questions to help you discover the idols of your heart (Ezekiel 14):

• What makes you say that a day is a "good day?"
• What makes you say that a day is a "bad day?"
• What keeps you going?
• What makes your life worthwhile?
• What dreams tend to capture your heart?
• What do you have a hard time believing that you can't live without?
• Where do you seek to find your identity?
• What, in life, do you crave most?
• What makes you really happy?
• Where do you turn for comfort?
• Where do you turn for peace?
• If you have some real "free" time - how do you tend to spend it?
• When you don't have to think about something - where does your mind love to rest?
• Where do you spend your money most effortlessly?
• When are your emotions most out of control? 

Answering these questions honestly may help you best discover your functional savior.

Remember - a good thing that becomes a god thing is a bad thing.

Depression - Book Recommendations

On Sunday I spoke on depression ("God's Prescription for Your Depression").  If you missed it, you can listen to it HERE.  But I wanted to mention two specific resources for those who struggle. 

1. DEPRESSION: A STUBBORN DARKNESS - by Ed Welch  

It is a very helpful, practical, Christ-focus, solution-oriented book.  I recommend this book ALL THE TIME! I think it is helpful for the one struggling with depression and for those who love someone struggling with depression.

2. WHEN THE DARKNESS WILL NOT LIFT - by John Piper

I love the subtitle of this book, "Doing What You Can While We Wait for God - and Joy." Piper, not normally known for brief books, kept this one to 80 pages with large type.  Those struggling with depression probably don't need a 500 page explanation of their situation. They need hope.  Piper provides it in an incredible God-focused way.

If Sunday's message grabbed your attention, maybe you need to get one of these books.  I can't wait until we have a bookstore so these resources are more readily available for everyone!

Good Questions!

I'm always trying to think of ways to help gauge one's spiritual well-being (for myself, for my accountability partners, for my wife, for my daughters, and for the people I lead).  And most often we make spiritual assessments based upon checklists (read my Bible, prayer, went to church).  And while those are good things to consider, they are not the final or even the real gauge of spirituality.

Recently, I came across a couple of questions that are worth considering to check the peace of my own heart:

• Am I becoming more easily irritated these days?
• Am I becoming more easily discouraged these days?

If the answer to either question is "yes" - it should serve as a warning light on the dashboard of my soul.

Celebrity Apologies

Two recent celebrities have gotten in some trouble: Michael Phelps and Charles Barkley.  Micheal Phelps had a photo taken of him using a marijuana pipe.  Charles Barkley was arresting for drunk-driving.

And although both of those choices are sad to me - what interests me even more is the response of these two men.  One takes responsibility and the other acts like a victim.

MICHAEL PHELPS:
"I've come to realize people want to bring you up but more people want to bring you down and that's how our public is."

You've GOT to be kidding me.  Who didn't root for Michael Phelps at the Olympics?  Who didn't celebrate his dominance? Who wants to see an Olympic hero embarrassed? And Phelps indicates that a MAJORITY of people want to bring him down. In other words - what he did wasn't wrong.  What WAS wrong (from his perspective) is that some "jerk" took his picture and went public with it. You'd think that someone manipulated the picture.  But no, that didn't happen. He is just mad because he got caught. He later said in the interview that he thought everyone at the party was a friend of his. In other words, his habits aren't going to change. What will change - is he will make sure he doesn't smoke pot around anyone with a camera, or he will do it only with REALLY close friends (who aren't out to get him).  How sad - he chooses to smoke pot yet paints himself as a victim.

Now contrast that with Charles Barkley...

CHARLES BARKLEY:
"Getting a DUI was the best thing that ever happened to me."

Although I do not approve of his actions or his lifestyle, AT LEAST he took complete responsibility for his choices. He paid his price. He apologized to his employers and family and he took it like a man - NOT like a victim.

When counseling - I always listen for excuses ("I'm a victim") or statements of responsibility ("I did wrong!"). It is SO MUCH easier to help people that take responsibility.

What I Hate to Hear In Counseling

I do quite a bit of counseling.  Here are some phrases that I have heard WAY too many times:

• "I can't..."  My response: "You can't or you won't?" Or "You can't or you don't want to...?"
• "He/she NEVER..." My response: "Never? Wow... that's a long time." I think that "never" is "never" accurate and using that word "never" helps a situation.
• "He/she ALWAYS..." My response: same as above - "Always? Really? Every time?" I think that "always" is almost "always" an exaggeration that rarely helps solve a conflict.
• "I've tried that before, but it didn't work."... My response: "Did you REALLY try? What did you try - exactly? How many times? For how long? How consistently?"  This usually means it was a single attempt that didn't go well - so they determined "it doesn't work."
• "I don't know."... My response: "Stop to think about it and try to give me an answer."  With my daughters, I say that "I don't know" isn't allowed when I ask a question that requires thinking. People often don't want to think deeply and in counseling that drives me crazy.
• "I don't have time to..." - this is usually in response to the homework I'm asking them to do.  My response: "How much TV did you watch this week?" We always find time for what we think is important.  Many people want help, but they don't want to work hard to get to biblical solutions.

You get the idea.  Other phrases I hate to hear:

• "I've done everything I can."
• "It isn't my fault." or "Don't blame me."
• "Don't ask me..."
• "I'm just one of those people who..."
• "That is impossible."
• "You can't teach an old dog new tricks."
• "It won't work."
• "I'll never forgive him/her."

One of the best skills a counselor needs is to be able to listen carefully and help people evaluate their faulty thinking that doesn't line up with the Bible.  We can do all things through Christ.  Most of these responses indicate an inability to do what God has told us we can do.  I constantly encourage people they CAN do whatever God asks them to do.