David Whiting Live

Happy Halloween!

We carved pumpkins again this year.  I came across an idea last year and I've been waiting twelve months to carve this pumpkin.  I'm rather proud of it...

I call it the "puking pumpkin." 

What I Hate to Hear In Counseling

I do quite a bit of counseling.  Here are some phrases that I have heard WAY too many times:

• "I can't..."  My response: "You can't or you won't?" Or "You can't or you don't want to...?"
• "He/she NEVER..." My response: "Never? Wow... that's a long time." I think that "never" is "never" accurate and using that word "never" helps a situation.
• "He/she ALWAYS..." My response: same as above - "Always? Really? Every time?" I think that "always" is almost "always" an exaggeration that rarely helps solve a conflict.
• "I've tried that before, but it didn't work."... My response: "Did you REALLY try? What did you try - exactly? How many times? For how long? How consistently?"  This usually means it was a single attempt that didn't go well - so they determined "it doesn't work."
• "I don't know."... My response: "Stop to think about it and try to give me an answer."  With my daughters, I say that "I don't know" isn't allowed when I ask a question that requires thinking. People often don't want to think deeply and in counseling that drives me crazy.
• "I don't have time to..." - this is usually in response to the homework I'm asking them to do.  My response: "How much TV did you watch this week?" We always find time for what we think is important.  Many people want help, but they don't want to work hard to get to biblical solutions.

You get the idea.  Other phrases I hate to hear:

• "I've done everything I can."
• "It isn't my fault." or "Don't blame me."
• "Don't ask me..."
• "I'm just one of those people who..."
• "That is impossible."
• "You can't teach an old dog new tricks."
• "It won't work."
• "I'll never forgive him/her."

One of the best skills a counselor needs is to be able to listen carefully and help people evaluate their faulty thinking that doesn't line up with the Bible.  We can do all things through Christ.  Most of these responses indicate an inability to do what God has told us we can do.  I constantly encourage people they CAN do whatever God asks them to do.

Matt Sones' Video - Poverty

Matt Sones Video

Last Sunday (10/12) Matt Sones shared his story of his summer in Egypt and the burden God has been putting in his heart. Here is the video for those who missed it, wanted to see it again, or pass it along to others.

Those who receive this by email need to go to the blog to see the video.  You can click HERE (www.davidwhitinglive.com) or HERE (Matt Sones' Video).

The Challenge of Choosing Songs

There are two requests that I regularly receive when it comes to worship:

1) "I have a song that we really need to sing.  Is it ok if I send it to you?" (On average, each month I probably receive two or three suggestions for a song that we should sing. I don't mind this at all! So if you are one who suggests... don't stop. I don't mind you suggesting if you don't mind that I say 'no.')

2) "We haven't sung __________ in a while (fill in the blank with your personal favorite). Can we sing it again soon?" (I get this three or four times a month. Everyone has their songs that mean a lot to them that we don't sing as often anymore. I miss singing some songs we used to sing a lot... "How Deep the Father's Love for Us," "Jesus, Thank You," "You're Worthy of My Praise" - to name a few that I miss...)

So - let me walk you through my challenge...  How many songs should we have on our potential list of songs to sing?

Think of it this way... Let's say we sing an average of four or five songs each week.  That is eighteen songs per month.  One of those songs is our "song of the month."  That means we will sing it four times that month.  Which means we actually sing fifteen different songs in a month.  Fifteen!  That isn't that many songs.

Now - think through this... if we sing a song every other month - we will only sing that song six times in an entire year.  How well can a person new to North learn a song that we sing six times a year? Not very well.
We are always looking out for newer people here at North.  We don't want them to feel like they are never learning the songs.  Therefore, my personal "rule of thumb" is to sing a song once every five or six weeks if it is on our song list .  That means we will sing it about ten times a year.  So - if we sing a song every five or six weeks - that means there is a maximum of 20 to 25 songs on our potential song list.  That really isn't that many songs.  That also means that with every NEW song - we need to take an OLD song off the list.  That is the REALLY hard part!!!

It is the challenge of what I face.  We add ten or eleven new songs a year.  That means ten or eleven songs have to be taken off the list every year.  That's horrible!!  I HATE to do that! 

Anyway - I hope you feel my challenge. Do you have suggestions for me? I'm all ears.

Driving Pilers - LOUD Construction

Driving Pilers

I mentioned on Sunday morning that when they drive the pilers into the ground - it is LOUD.  I thought I should let you find out yourself.  So watch this brief video (1:30 long).

The "block" that slams on top of the pilers weighs approximately 5 tons (according to one of our construction guys that I asked today).

If you receive this by email - you need to go to the blog to watch it.  Just click HERE and it will take you there. Or just go to www.davidwhitinglive.com.

Ground Breaking Video

GroundBreaking Video

Here is a summary video from our groundbreaking in August. We are using it as our "Countdown" before services this month.  But if you are one of those people who arrive late (or last minute) - you'll never get a chance to see it. So here is the full video for those who aren't sitting down 5 minutes and 30 seconds before the service starts! :)

If you receive this by email - you need to go to the blog to watch the video.  Click HERE and it will take you there.  Or just go to www.davidwhiting.org.

Why I Love Going to Small Group

This has been a busy week.  I drove to Baptist Bible College (Clarks Summit, PA) on Monday afternoon to speak at their annual Bible Conference.  I spoke twice on Tuesday.  I was glad to be first on the docket. The other two speakers are much better communicators than I am (believe me, no false humility here). I left the campus Wednesday morning before 6:00 AM to drive back home, and then had a busy day at the office.  And probably the last thing I "felt" like doing Wednesday night was going to our small group. But (as always) I'm SO glad I did. 

Last night's discussion (based on Sunday's sermon) was perhaps the best sermon discussion I've ever been a part of (and I've been a part of hundreds). So many important issues came to the surface (on the issue of forgiveness). There was mutual encouragement, challenge, questions, sharing, and prayer that enlarged my heart and drew me closer to my group. The conversation just "took off" and needed little guidance to stay on track. The last five minutes were very intense and it was enjoyable watching where it was going.

Often I've said that Wednesday nights is the highlight of my church week.  Here is why I've said that many times:

1. I love going to small group because it makes me a better preacher. Last night's discussion was a good example.  Hearing people's questions and struggles with a sermon helps me think about how to present truth in future sermons. I want to make sure my sermons help people get a bigger view of God and the Gospel as well as help them to practically live life that pleases God. Interacting with people about the sermons REALLY helps me do that!

2. I love going to small group because it allows me to get to know new people quickly.  We added ten new people to our small group this year!  And talking about sermons and "real life" situations allows me to get to know people very quickly.  And it isn't a superficial knowledge. I feel like I already know some of our group pretty well and we've only been meeting for five Wednesdays.

3. I love how unpredictable it is. In most contexts at church, I am supposed to be the leader. And although I am one of the leaders of our group, I feel more a part of the experience than I do "leading" the experience. On Sunday mornings - I know what is going to happen.  I've seen the videos, prepared the sermon, picked and practiced the songs... no surprises. Small group is unpredicatable. What someone will share and how they relate to a particular truth comes as a surprise. And it allows the group to share the burdens, blessings, challenges, and joys of the rest of the group. I love watching it all happen.

4. I also love our Small Group ministry because I'm not in charge of it!!! Scott Bixby leads it and he does a GREAT job.  I'm just one of the players trying to get as many people as possible in relationships that make an eternal difference.  I love watching Scott lead!

What do you love about your small group?

De-Construction Has Begun

When you come to church on Sunday - make sure you check out the three new block walls!!  The offices by the front of the worship center (they have been used as the prayer room and green room) and the bathroom off of the stage have been blocked off.  Because that part of the building will be knocked down, they needed to block them off as they will be outside walls soon.  It does look a bit strange...

This is the doorway by the piano.  You can't get out that way anymore...

This is the door leading off the stage to the left (near the bass amp).  Usually the musicians leave the stage and turn left to go to the green room, but no longer...

This is the third newly constructed wall.  The picture is taken from the baptistery.  These are the stairs leading out of the baptistery.  They blocked it off as well.  We will either have to wait until summer to do baptisms, or we will have to jump the wall to get into the baptistery.

For long-time North attendees, there is some great sadness in seeing that part of the building knocked down. That was the original "church offices." I'm sure that some in our church met with Pastor Betlem or Pastor Gruenberg in those offices.  We are thankful that in this entire project, it is the only part of the original building coming down.  This area will be where the new bathrooms will be located.

What do you remember that took place in those offices?

Why We Sing the Songs We Sing - part 2

Planning the weekly service is not one of my favorite responsibilities.  But choosing the song we focus on for the month is something I enjoy.  When I am picking songs of the month, here is the criteria I tend to use:

1. Is the song "singable" musically?

Some would think that this shouldn't top the list, but it does for me. The melody line ought to echo in people's heads through the week. If a song is enjoyable musically - people will remember it. For me, it starts here.

2. Is the song accurate theologically?

Most would think this would top the list, but it doesn't with me for one simple reason: I'm more than willing to change poor lyrics. If I find a melody line that won't leave my head - and the lyrics need some adjusting, I'm more than happy to do that.  We've done that on one song over the past year ("Our God Saves") and on several songs over the years ("Mighty to Save" "Hear Us from Heaven"). 

3. Is there balance is our song selection?

I want a balance between deep lyrics and simply words of adoration for God. So if one month the new song was a deep expression of the atonement of the cross, then I'd like to have a more "simple" song of adoration the next month. It seems that some writers want to write songs that are so packed with theology that you need a dictionary to know what you are singing. I do want the lyrics to teach, but that is not the primary purpose.  I want us to worship God because of Who He is and what He has done.  I want our songs to capture people's minds and emotions.  I also want a balance between fast and slow tempo songs and a balance between songs that are "softer" in feel and ones that drive pretty hard.

4. Are the lyrics God-centered?

There is a place to sing about our response to God ("Now Is the Time to Worship") or a song that teaches ("Ancient Words"), but I want the vast majority to be ABOUT God or better yet - simply singing TO God.

5. Are the lyrics cross-centered?

I want every song we sing to point to the cross.  I long for our church to be a Gospel-centered church. This is probably the category that I DO want our songs to teach. I long for people to focus on the cross of Christ and what he accomplished for us.  And the songs we sing do help us remember what Christ accomplished on the cross for us (perhaps more on that in a future post). The songs we sing need to point in that direction or I lose interest in them pretty quickly.

6. Can our band play it well?

Not every worship song you hear on the radio is "playable" by the average worship band. But our group of musicians are extremely talented so this question is rarely answered 'No.'  And when it is 'No' - it is because of our limited instrument selection. Without an electric guitar and a larger percussion section - some songs just don't "work" well. There are some songs that need certain instrumentation to do them well.

That's about it.  I don't have this list in front of me when picking a song; this list is based on hindsight observation. The way I pick new songs isn't very impressive.  I buy a lot of worship CDs and play them in my office and find out which ones I find myself singing throughout the day. That shows me the most singable of the songs - then I begin to evaluate them based on the other criteria. Not too impressive - huh? And about two or three times a month someone suggests a song (which I like too).

I love the songs we sing and the energy with which our church body embraces them!  Make sure you vote on your favorite songs from the past year.  It will help me in the future.  Go to yesterday's blog  "Why We Sing the Songs We Sing - part 1" (click on that) and place a comment there (at the bottom of the post - look for the "comments" option. Or simply reply to this email with your favorite song we have taught in the last year.

Why We Sing the Songs We Sing - part 1

(READ TO THE BOTTOM - I WANT YOUR FEEDBACK!!!)

I look forward to the day when I no longer have "double-duty" on Sunday mornings (primary teacher and one of the worship leaders). I look forward to handing over the song leading responsibilities to someone that has more musical gifts than I do. But the one thing I will miss most is choosing the songs that we sing.  Not the week to week song set - that is more burden than pleasure - but what songs will be added to the list of songs we sing (i.e. the "chorus of the month").

Tuesday night a few of us got together to work on the new song for October. So between cookies (made by Morgan), coffee, and great conversation - we worshiped our great God for two hours using the new chorus.

(left to right: Jim Ford, me, Gary Gagarinas, and Willie Lopez)

This month's song is called "At the Cross" and it is a POWERFUL new song!  I can't wait for you to learn it.  It is written and performed by a group called "Pocket Full of Rocks" (I have no idea why groups give themselves these names). But don't hold the name against them - you will love the song they wrote! 

Here are the new songs we introduced over the last year:

• The Power of the Cross (September) - "This the power of cross; Christ became sin for us - Took the blame - bore the wrath - we stand forgiven at the cross..."
• Lift High (August) - "Lift High - your chains undone. All rise - exalt the Son. Jesus Christ - the Holy One - we lift our eyes to You..."
• Let Me Sing (June) - "Let me sing - Louder than creation to You - for the pain you bore in Your body - to bring my soul to You..."
• All Because of Jesus (May) - "All because of Jesus I'm alive - All because the blood of Jesus Christ - Covered me and raised this dead man's life - It's all because of Jesus - I'm alive..."
• Hallelujah to My King (April) - "Hallelujah, what a Savior - I owe everything to Him - Hallelujah, what a Savior - Hallelujah to my King..."
• Our God Saves (March) - "Our God saves - Our God saves - there is hope in Your name - mourning turns to songs of praise - Our God saves..."
• He Is Jesus (January) - "There's a treasure great in beauty - far surpassing earth's great wealth - He is Jesus - Prince of Glory - source of all grace, peace, and health..."
• The Son of God Came Down (December) - "The Son of God came down - and laid aside His crown - Born without great renown - this Sovereign One..."
• Unto the One (October) - "Unto the One Who sits on the throne - unto the Lamb Who was slain - Be all blessing and honor - glory and power and praise forever..."

Tomorrow (or the next day) I want to share my philosophy of choosing songs that we sing. BUT - until then, which one of our choruses of the month is your favorite? Let me know. If you receive this by email - you can hit "reply" (it will come to me), or you can comment on the blog. (You can go to the blog by clicking on the title "Why We Sing the Songs We Sing" above). I will let you know what I find out.